Bite Me, Baby!
by heeha
Summary: Oh Mah Gawd! Hibari's a vampire, and he's out for Tsuna's blood! Watch out, Tsuna! Hibari's coming to give you a good sucking! One-shot, Hibari/Tsuna


_Edited June 9, 2009 _

Author's Notes: I have a thing with revising my work immediately after I post it. e.e But anyway! This fic was wonderfully inspired by all those fanfics out there having Hibari as a vampire and/or biting Tsuna. I quite enjoyed writing this. I hope you enjoy too! XD.

Bite Me, Baby!  
By heeha

Once upon a time, Hibari Kyouya was extremely bitch-slapped with the realization that he was a rabid bloodsucker.

He didn't know beforehand because he'd never been overwhelmed by any horny blood cravings. Then suddenly, one day, Hibari Kyouya had the horniest blood craving in the world. He wanted blood. He _needed_ blood. He would have his beautiful blood. And he just _knew_ that he would get his precious liquid by biting hugeass basketball-sized holes into his poor, innocent victim. It was no wonder that his catchphrase had always been "I'll bite you to death." Biting and blood were Hibari's unconscious instincts, forever intertwined like smooth legs during sex.

But Hibari wasn't gonna suck the life out of any lowly herbivore. Oh no.

You see, his vampire genes were so specific that he had been biologically programmed to suck the bloody life out of his destined mate.

His destined mate just so happened to be Sawada Tsunayoshi. He knew because he got mindblowing boners whenever he saw the teen. His vampire instincts were just _that_ good at recognizing his mate.

To Hibari's misfortune, these instincts also happened to be _that _pathetic because, even after Tsuna was gone, Hibari's perverted blood cravings and boners would continue to last for hours on end. Considering the numerous times he saw Tsuna in a day, he wouldn't be surprised if his boner suddenly decided to be a pal and stay hard with him for the rest of his life.

Yet Hibari wasn't disturbed in the least about having a hard-on twenty-four-seven. He was perfectly fine with stalking around town with a permanent tent in his crotch area. If Hibird ever got tired of perching on Hibari's shoulder, he was always welcome to rest his pointy feet on Hibari's big bulge.

An everlasting erection was no problem for the great Hibari. What _did _make him hella pissed was the fact that this meant he couldn't discipline his own body, all because of a timid little herbivore. Hibari was reknowned for his need to exact firm control on everyone and everything. He could _not _let Tsuna dictate his brilliant boner times. With this absolutely terrible threat in mind, Hibari came to the grand conclusion that he would have to assert his manly dominance over poor, meek Tsuna.

And he did just that.

On one lovely, bright sunny day, Hibari was seen walking _outside_ Namimori Middle School! Such an act was unheard of for conventional vampires. However, Hibari was special. Unlike conventional vampires, Hibari possessed hyperskin so durable that it could withstand the most intense ultraviolet rays in the universe. Hell, shove him right next to the gigantic fireball and he'd be grinning like a sadistic maniac! He loved 6000 degree Celsius temperatures! His body was just that awesome.

Sadly, Hibari was forced to maneuver his awesome body back inside to complete his meticulous (and extremely obsessive) patrol of the school. Hibari was a paranoid perfectionist who would own your ass if he thought you pissed in a urinal using the wrong technique. Apparently, urination actually involved a delicate procedure that Hibari had developed and mastered in his very short lifetime. This procedure was known as "The Holy Steps of Urination." Hibari was so proud of his holy steps that he could not tolerate seeing even the slightest violation of these sacred steps. However, as intimidating as this was, far greater consequences were in store for the males who didn't possess a penis to piss with. These unfortunate students would be beaten into oblivion for disrupting the normalcy and order of the male species.

Being a herbivore also happened to qualify as a disruption of male species order. And as Hibari always called Tsuna a herbivore, Tsuna was a fault that needed the Hibari touch. That and the fact that Hibari wouldn't have been able to keep his horny-happy hands off of Tsuna anyway.

This was proven true as Hibari patrolled Namimori's hallways. Everything was fine and dandy when, suddenly, his hypersex intuition wailed like a siren - aka. he was hot and hard. His body was now howling for sex like a little kid screaming for candy. And Tsuna was within sexing distance.

Hibari had always been quick to please, so he tracked Tsuna down, swept him off his feet, and dragged him to the wonderful Disciplinary Committee room. This room was absolutely marvellous. Now it was not only Hibari's torture chamber - it was also his private lovenest, where he and Tsuna could learn how to properly appreciate each other's enticing, erotic bodies. Hibari's skin tingled with excitement as he marched inside his haven with a wailing Tsuna in tow.

Once inside, Hibari locked the door behind him just to assert his sexy authority to the world. He really didn't give a damn if he got caught. He'd just beat the crap out of anyone who saw them...after he thoroughly violated his destined mate, who currently looked like he was having an anxiety attack.

"Hi-Hi-Hibari-san!" Tsuna squeaked like a frightened mouse on steroids.

"I'm biting you to death," Hibari growled. _And molesting you to death,_ he mentally added to himself.

"Oh no! Please! Spare my feminine body!" Tsuna cried desperately. Somehow, it didn't occur to Tsuna to eat a dying will pill and fly his ass away from Hibari at hyperspeed. He was just that stupid. That was why he was known as 'No-Good Tsuna'...

...Until today.

No-Good Tsuna was shedding his tacky title as quick as a stripper shedding her clothes. He was finally going to be good for something! Indeed, Tsuna was going to be damn good at satisfying Hibari's urgent needs of some tasty Tsunafish. In fact, he was going to satisfy those needs right...

Now.

Hibari advanced, eyes gleaming like a rabid dog on crack. He trapped the cowering Tsuna between his hands and a desk. A tongue darted out of his mouth to wet his eager lips. The predator's body was screaming to feast on his prey. However, fortunately for Tsuna, Hibari's asstight control over himself remained almighty and kept him from devouring the herbivore...for a grand total of six seconds. Then Hibari's heinous hormones decided to bombard his crotch with a hugeass wave of testosterone.

It was time for Tsuna to receive some hot Hibari lovin'.

Said carnivore leaned down slowly and licked the skin of Tsuna's neck. Tsuna gasped. Hibari's tongue was making him aroused to the extreme!

Suddenly, Hibari roughly bit into Tsuna's skin. The fangs tore into his flesh, causing Tsuna to let out a delightful scream that was viagra to Hibari's groin. Then again, because Tsuna was just so irresistable, everything about him was viagra to Hibari's groin. Especially his delectable blood.

Hibari sucked at Tsuna's neck like a deprived drug addict.

"Hi-Hibari-san..." Tsuna whimpered. "Stop..." He could feel the end. It was near.

Hibari ignored the message encoded in Tsuna's highly arousing pleas. Instead, he growled like a wolf in heat and rammed his knee in between Tsuna's legs. Tsuna's breath hitched in pain and pleasure. Oh, the irony! Oh, the torture!

However, all sense of pain and pleasure eventually faded because Hibari drank too much of Tsuna's blood. Actually, he drank all of Tsuna's blood. Tsuna could no longer keep his penis up.

Hell, Tsuna was dead from complete blood loss. But Hibari hadn't noticed until after he'd sucked Tsuna dry. And even though his blood cravings were satiated, he still had Hidick to take care of. Hidick was the name of his rock-hard penis. Hiballs was the name of his badass balls, but they weren't important right now. Hidick was the one who needed to be tamed. Hibari concluded that screwing Tsuna's corpse to death was the best way to tame his pesky penis.

Yes, it was Hidick's time to shine in Tsuna's buttcheeks of paradise. Although Tsuna was already dead, so Hibari technically couldn't screw Tsuna to death. Dejected by the fact that he couldn't use his favourite tagline, Hibari settled on saying "screw Tsuna's corpse in death." But technically that didn't work either since Hibari wasn't dead.

So he decided to join Tsuna by killing himself. He let himself starve and go insane by not drinking any blood for a month. That did the trick quite nicely, thank you.

Hibari was miraculously sent to heaven. There, he hunted Tsuna down, ripped his angelic clothes off, and screwed Tsuna in death, non-stop, for ten earth-years.

And they lived happily, fucking ever after.

The End


End file.
